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Earlier today I read a FoxBlues story about someone named Kristy Lee Cook who is a former American Idol contestant with her own reality hunting show.

Kristy Cook

PETA (People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals) rightly blasted this air-headed Neanderthal for murdering innocent and helpless animals:

“Instead of angering thousands of would-be fans by killing helpless animals on camera in attempt to get her ’15 Minutes of Shame,’ Kristy Lee Cook’s fame crusade would be better served by following in the footsteps of fellow Idol alum-turned-country-stars  Carrie Underwood and Kellie Pickler—as well as  Simon Cowell—all of whom have used their fame and talent to speak up for animals.”

What I thought was especially fascinating was this “counter-attack” by Cook. As you read, please try to imagine a real human being talking like that to a reporter. Sounds like some pre-written NRA screed, doesn’t it?

“I join the ranks of millions of American hunters who celebrate our outdoor heritage and who conserve millions of acres of wild lands. These same people support more than 600,000 jobs across the country and provide a critical voice to encourage more investment in American conservation.”

Of course, what Cook fails to mention is that the “millions” of American hunters have seen their ranks getting smaller and smaller year after year. Part of the reason no doubt is that the work of organizations like PETA are having a very positive influence on changing attitudes towards hunting and eating meat. More and more Americans are leaving their cave-man (and cave-woman) attitudes behind. Progress is slow but it is happening. Something to be cheerful about!

Another reason for the dwindling ranks of hunters is that they seem to do a better job of killing and maiming themselves than anyone might have hoped. Not too long ago I ran a story about hunters getting stranded in an Arizona snowstorm. I’ve also expressed some joy at the number of hunters who shoot themselves and other hunters while out in their beloved wilderness.

Here’s one I especially liked: Hunter Kills Himself, Deer Survives. In truth, my joy comes more from the animals who are inadvertently saved by these careless acts of  self-abuse. But no matter: there is at least one less hunter out there to wreck havoc on our animal population.

Which leads me to the following proposal —

I’m not so dumb as to advocate that anyone deliberately go out there and shoot hunters. On the other hand, if you don’t mind picking up a used rifle with a good quality scope, what’s to say you couldn’t join some party of liquored-up hunters and just “accidentally” find one of them in the crosshairs. What’s to say that your finger couldn’t just slip on the trigger — ka-boom! You might have a few questions to answer when you return to civilization, but your reward would be the knowledge that one more animal-killer had met his match in the wilderness. . .another human being.

Now, Rake, how could you even jokingly suggest such a thing as shooting hunters. Aren’t you against killing animals?

Yes, indeed, I am against killing if it can be avoided. But there is a war taking place out there in the fields and forests of this country. If you or I had a chance to kill a Nazi because we knew he was involved in the torture and murder of innocent civilians, wouldn’t we have a moral duty to kill that soldier? I think we would. To me it is the same principle at work.

The difference is my understanding that such behavior would not be considered an act of heroism by most people, which is one reason I do not seriously advocate such behavior. (Got that, you legal types??? Don’t go out and kill a hunter and say Rake told you to do it. I’m not.)

It’s enough fun just to get all the hunter-killers riled up and angry at me. Maybe they’ll get so blind with anger — fueled by their alcoholic stupor — that they will pick up their rifles, head outside to do some target practice, and accidentally shoot themselves.

We can only hope!